Waking up
by leontinees
Summary: "You won't know me, you won't see me almost anywhere, you won't remember my name even if someday you actually hear it. But there was a time when I was here, I breathed this air and walked across this land... so much time ago, when I was known as the Goddess of Blood". A story about Manaesi, the forgotten Gerudo deity.
1. The Void

**WAKING UP**

_**ATTENTION!** English is not my first language, so please, everyone feel free to correct all the mistakes. But remember this is totally fictional, so if you don't like the story itself, there is nothing I can do about it. There will be references to the games and you may or may not agree with them, but please, respect my point of view. Enjoy! :D_

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**Chapter 1: The Void**

Hylia.

That was the name that brought me here. Where exactly is this _here_, I won't be able to explain you, since we godly beings simply call it "the Void". It is another plane of existence, some transcendental place... a portal to another dimension, a path that connects the Sacred Realm where we live to the mortal world. Around, you'll only see shapeless grey clouds, an ancient _torii_* with a sacred prayer stone below, and a short narrow gravel path in front of them. At the end of the path... there was nothing interesting. Or more exactly, very far down, there was the mortal world.

As I said, nothing interesting. I never, since the moment of my creation, crossed the planes. Why would I? For what? But Hylia had done it, plenty of times. And now, she will be gone forever, never to return to this Sacred Realm where she belonged.

Oh, I apologize, I didn't introduce myself. My name is Manaesi, also known as the Goddess of Blood. Why? Because I was born from Din's blood when she created the red land with her own powerful hands. I guess you could take me as her little sister or something, but that's nothing impressive. All the gods and goddesses are related to each other somehow, we aren't that many. Hylia herself is Nayru's daughter.

... Seems like all my thoughts lead back to Hylia. Nothing strange, actually, since she is the very reason I'm here right now. Because I wanted to understand.

Walking slowly on the stone floor of the Void, I looked down, like my eyes could pierce through the immense sea of grey clouds and have a look to the mortals. They were such inferior creatures... even if some god or goddess took the trouble to descend upon them, they couldn't see all our glory. Nobody knew why, but if we crossed the planes, we kinda... changed. Automatically, we got some embodiment to our holy essences. Here in the Sacred Realm, our body wasn't very defined, we were deities made of pure energy after all! A head, trunk and limbs... and little more.

When Hylia was designated as the goddess to care and protect the mortals, I saw her changing for the first time. She looked... like one of them, specifically of the race hylian that Farore created, and of course, they later took their name after her. Long blond hair, ethereal blue eyes and pointed ears. Her peaceful aura turned into some white dress and a jewel ornament on her forehead. No wonder all of them were mesmerized by their white Goddess of Kindness.

You would say I sound jealous. Tsk, you are wrong. I didn't envy one bit of Hylia's task. I despised mortals. They were weak, ignorant, filthy and... and sooner or later they all suffered this strange state of complete laziness, when they don't speak anymore and their body won't move, not even if bugs or scavengers start to feed on them. They also soon start to smell so bad that other still-no-lazy people have to burn or bury them. Well, serves them right, if you ask me; they were calling for it. Bad thing is that nobody seemed to be out of range for this disgusting illness to strike, no matter how young or old you were.

I certainly didn't want that for me... and this made me question myself again what I was doing here. I sat down beside the prayer stone and reclined my head on its cold surface, closing my eyes. Oh yes, curiosity may be such a treacherous thing... same as incomprehension. I didn't like that either, having that small thorn inside me.

Hylia had renounced to her divinity after the war against demon king Demise. I saw her taking in her arms the Chosen Hero, who had fallen to that state of extreme laziness. He didn't seem to even care that a goddess, his dear white goddess no less, was gracing him with her tears. And still she was pouring so many, while her immaculate dress got stained with his blood. Hylia didn't seem aggrieved by that either, she was paying attention only to the man in her arms, stroking his unnatural and almost colorless blond hair, and hugging a body that suffered too much time from lack of healthy food, fresh air and sun caress.

Why would she do such a thing? After all she accomplished, guiding her beloved people to the skies, so close to the Sacred Realm. She even entrusted them with the Triforce before disappearing into the nothingness of the Void. She would never come back... someday she will reborn as one of the hylians, but that meant nothing to me. Even if Hylia reincarnated, she would be just another worthless being. At least, that was what I thought.

But after the war, all the races in the world created by the Three Golden Goddesses pleaded loyalty to one deity or another. They wanted to feel safe, to feel protected, so they grasped to the holy being of their choice. Zoras chose Nayru, gorons preferred Din, kokiris wanted Farore... but nobody swore loyalty to me, not even one. And at first, I really felt relieved, because I had no mortals to worry about, I was free, I got lucky! However, soon I felt insulted instead. Why nobody chose me? I was a goddess too, not a bit less than Hylia. We both were strong, both knew how to fight and cast magic. So why?

I came here, to the Void, to find an answer. It was true I wasn't the most known goddess, but I deserved some respect too! Hylia crossed planes many times, I didn't even once... maybe that was the reason.

I got up from my spot next to the prayer stone, and looked one more time to the shapeless grey clouds all around me. Below this, the mortals lived. I wanted to find what fantastic thing Hylia discovered about them, nice enough to make her renounce her divinity and become one of them. Still, I didn't want to quit being a goddess, not at all! I just... needed some time, maybe a few decades would be enough; time is infinite for us anyway.

- Do you hear me? - I talked to the prayer stone, kneeling respectfully in front of it - I want to become mortal only for a given time. How much it takes, I don't mind. A day, a year, a century... but don't take me back until I find my answer. I want to know, I want to understand... the tears, the pain, the laugh, the sacrifice. Whatever the mortals have to offer... I want it all!

The stone started to shine, so I took my wish for granted. I bowed my head until touching the cold floor, and thought for a moment what embodiment I would get. I didn't want to be a hylian, that's for sure... but I guessed it wasn't the time to be picky. I got up and walked slowly through the narrow gravel path, the _torii_ growing distant behind me. Almost at the end, I closed my eyes once more and breathed deeply. Then, I rushed myself into a run...

... and without the smallest of the doubts, I leapt into the Void.

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_Aaand... this is just the beginning! :D I will continue this story in January 2014. Thanks everyone for read and comment!_

_**Torii** = is a traditional Japanese gate most commonly found at the entrance of or within a Shinto shrine. Usually it is red and square, made of wood or stone._


	2. Wind and sand

**Chapter 2: Wind and sand**

My first memory of this mortal world was the sand. Also the wind, and the cold... but mostly the sand. Even before I opened my eyes, I could feel it. Sand under my mortal flesh, sand under my fingertips, sand caressing my skin in a way almost painful as the wind began to blow harder.

Later, it was a voice. A female, unknown voice, who seemed to call for me.

- Hey, wake up! - she said - Can you hear me? Are you alright?

I didn't respond, since I actually couldn't move. This new embodiment of mine felt strange, small... _weak_. I just wanted to lie there, in the soft sand, until my body would find its way to function and let me answer. It didn't seem to be happening anytime soon, though.

And then... then was the _touch_. A sudden, unexpected touch from another being on my shoulder, and I felt like exploding. Wild energy hit my limbs and made my blood run hot through my veins, heating my frozen figure and forcing me to breathe deeply, almost coughing. My eyes opened by themselves, and I was blinded by the sunlight for a moment. It took me a while to adjust, but when I did, all I could see were several different shades of yellow and orange: the golden sun, the amber sand, the creamy sky... even a few greenish-yellow blades of grass that seemed to be drying.

After that, I finally felt in total possession of my new form. I leaned on an elbow to sat up, testing my strength. I didn't feel weak anymore, at least not that weak for a mortal being. But I was totally naked, I noticed that immediately. Why was it like that? Hadn't my holy aura turned into some kind of clothes, like Hylia's?

- Are you hurt somehow? - the female voice spoke to me again.

I had forgotten I wasn't alone, someone was with me. I lifted my head and saw a woman, not young, not old... I really couldn't tell, a mortal's lifetime was a mere blink to me. She had reddish hair with few grey, tanned skin, a bit long nose and amber eyes... and no pointed ears, so she wasn't hylian. I was glad for that. And speaking of it, what was I now? I touched my own ears, they weren't pointed either, that was good. On my head grew red-blood hair, and looking at myself, I saw the same tanned skin as the woman in front of me. I guessed we should look very similar.

- No, I'm not hurt - I finally said.

So this was how a mortal voice sounded. I must admit it didn't sound bad, I kinda liked it.

- Who are you, and what are doing here? - talked again the woman, covering me with a blanket she wore - And in the nude, no less? Did you try to suicide or something? Were you lost? Abandoned?

I didn't know what this _suicide_ thing was, but neither felt like asking nor answering her many questions. Instead of that, I slowly rose and stood up, grabbing the blanket. My legs felt long and firm enough. Comparing myself to the other woman, I was slighty taller than her, but her hair was longer than mine, almost reaching her hips. The wind blew through the strands, making a mess of her, not like she seemed to care at all; my own probably looked the same, if not worse.

- Why are you here? - I asked now.

- I saw a big light fell from the sky, just when it was dawning, but opposite side. I came to check on. Why were _you_ here?

- Where is this _here_, exactly?

The woman frowned, clearly irritated that I wasn't responding to her questions, and instead making my own.

- Province of Lanayru.

- LANAYRU?! - I shouted incredulous, looking around - It can't be... Lanayru is a vast lush region, with a great sea too, but all that there is here is some sort of pre-desertic zone. No flowers, so little grass, and even the few trees look like they'll die soon.

- Well, this is Lanayru now - the woman insisted - What you talk about was more than twenty years ago. The sea drained almost from one day to another.

No wonder I didn't know, in fact. I never cared about the mortals.

- How much time has passed since the war against the demon king?

- Twenty-three already.

Twenty-three years... that was nothing to me, but apparently it was a lot of time in this world, more than enough to change landscape this much. Before, everything in this part of the land that the Golden Goddesses created, was grass and salt water... and now remained almost nothing.

- How old are you? - I asked the woman in a whisper - How old do _I_ look?

- My my, you certainly sound confused, my child - the woman said, looking worried at me - I'm forty-two, and you look no older than twenty. Why do you ask, don't you remember?

- There is nothing for me to remember, all of this is new to me - my voice grew stronger and surer - I'm Manaesi, Goddess of Blood, and I'll be living in this world as a mortal for some time. What's your name?

She didn't answer right away, but rather seemed to be thinking if to do so. She didn't look very pleased either.

- ... Eglaia - she decided to say - And if I hadn't seen that yellowish light enveloping you when it fell, I wouldn't believe you. So you are a goddess, then you couldn't have chosen a worse place to wake up. Godly beings aren't well appreciated here around. However, if you intend to stay here, I suggest you to keep your origin a secret from everyone.

I wanted to ask why, but the harshness in Eglaia's voice told me I wouldn't receive more politeness from her, no matter if I demanded it.

- Follow me, Manaesi - she talked to me, walking away - I will introduce you to the tribe, and then, you'll have to choose by yourself what to do. You look like one of us, though, and here everyone knows each other. They will be suspicious of you at first, being the new one.

- What is the name of your tribe? I knew you are not hylian, at least.

- We have no name for ourselves. Nobody remember us now anyway.

I followed her. While we were talking, the sun had risen, and the cold was slowly fading away. I had to say, the sight was quite beautiful. The sunrays reflected on the dunes, making them almost glow in the morning air. The sand was soft under my feet, it was nice to feel it, even if I got hurt by some little stone here and there. Nothing that I couldn't handle.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

After like half an hour walking, I saw it. Their village was little and dusty, no more than little spots popping out the sand. Most of the houses were made of metallic debris, likely from the robots that worked in the mines not very far away. I fast understood that they hadn't any other building material. In the arid place that was now Lanayru, nor wood nor straw nor water for clay could be wasted in that anymore.

- Sorry if this is comfortless - Eglaia said when we entered her home - There isn't more we can offer to guests, not that we have them anyway. Here, have some clothes.

She gave me some desert-like purple garments: a low-waist light pants, a sleeveless shirt to cover my bosom, and flexible slippers. While I dressed, I figured out something... that I woke up naked because I had no aura to be turned into clothes, unlike Hylia. Every time she crossed planes, she was still a goddess, but I have left my divinity in the Void.

- Why did you come? - Eglaia asked, turning her back to me and busing herself with something.

- To learn about you, mortal beings.

- Why did you come _here_? - she specified.

- I didn't choose the place, nor this body, only the fact. I guess it was destiny.

- You better start not calling people _mortal beings_.

I was a little curious about this.

- Why not?

- We have no faith in deities here.

- You don't believe we exist?

- It's not that. I know for sure all of you exist, but I don't trust you anymore. You have nothing for us except slavery and suffering.

I was a little taken back. I had never listened anyone talk that way about us.

- This must be the first time I hear someone not praising the Three Golden Goddesses, or the white Goddess of Kindness.

- Hylia is the guilty one for everything! - Eglaia screamed, turning to look back at me, ferocity burning in her eyes - Had she to take everything from us? Our people, our lives, our prosperity?!

I didn't retreat from her imposing figure, since I was kinda captivated by the emotion showing in Eglaia's face. However, maybe she felt like overdoing, because took a breath and calmed herself.

- I apologize - she whispered - I shouldn't talk like this. As gods and goddesses, you still deserve our respect... but definitely not our faith.

- I don't mind. Feel free to speak out your heart and beliefs.

- Since you don't want your travel to be a waste, right?

- You said it.

Eglaia frowned deeper this time, and I was quite sure that was a sign of despise to me for my selfishness; however, she chose to not voice it out.

I was already fully dressed. The clothes felt nice, though I didn't really like the color. Purple... it reminded me of someone, another god. It wasn't a colour that I could take as mine, but I'd handle it for the moment.

- Are these clothes your daughter's?

- No, they are mine, from when I was young. I don't have any daughters.

She was wearing another style of desert-garments, similar to mine. Same baggy pants but a vest instead a shirt, everything in white.

- Tell me, why don't you have daughters?

- I don't feel like answering.

I tilted my head to her side, annoyed.

- That wasn't a suggestion, Eglaia - I said, slightly menacing.

- I don't care if it wasn't. It is my private life and you have no business in it, oh Goddess of Blood.

Oh yes, she had some nerve! I must admit, even if I was irritated for her insolence, this also amused me. Were all the mortal bei- I mean, all the humans like this? This could be entertaining.

- Right... You should be grateful that I'm not in the mood to punish your impudence - I warned her, walking to the door - You yourself said that we godly beings deserve respect, so stick to it. Now, show me this place where you live so I can meet the people.

- As you wish, Your Grace - she answered, clearly mocking me, before her voice regained the usual harshness - Then _you_ should remember that I am not your servant to be taking orders, Manaesi.

- I could freeze you right here in the spot. You would make a good statue.

- Do it if it pleases you - the damn woman mocked again of my threat - It's not like I have anything to live for anyway, or like someone is gonna miss me.

Now this silenced me. What was she talking about? It's not like I would leave her frozen for eternity... just some years in human life would be enough, I think. Of course I would unfreeze her sooner or later.

We talked no more, and instead exited the house. Unlike to the place where Eglaia found me, just a little far away, here there was nothing beautiful to see, only ugly metallic shacks and few scrawny trees. There was a little more grass here, but still looked like drying. People around was also scarce.

- How many of you are here? - I asked.

- Nowadays, barely eighty - she said by my side, guiding me to them - Most of them are inside the houses or in the near surroundings.

- What they do there?

- Trying to survive.

I wanted to ask more, but the people there... no, the _women_ there were already looking at us.

- Please, listen to me for a moment! - Eglaia shouted - Just an hour ago, I found this young woman near here, lying alone and helpless in the field. Her name is Manaesi, and I think she is lost.

- Where does she come from? - a young poor-looking woman asked, not pleased to hear that - Is she an enemy?

- I don't know, but she doesn't carry any weapon with her.

_Like I would need one to fight or defend myself_, I thought, conceited.

- Are you going to take her in, Eglaia? - the broken voice of an old woman with green-shade skin could be heard - You badly can take care of yourself. She should continue her way as soon as possible, wherever that may be.

- Yes, I'll take her in - Eglaia assured, serious - She won't be a burden to anyone else, don't worry. I won't ask for help.

With this, nobody seemed to have a problem with me staying for some time with them, so they simply stared at me. They didn't see anything strange, I guessed for the lack of real interest on their faces. And then, when they were already retreating back to their ugly homes... it happened. A girl, just a little child, was standing there alone, just a few meters away, but looking at me so intensely that I could almost feel her eyes piercing on my skin. When she noticed I also was looking at her, she took little steps on my way, one by one, until stopping right in front of me.

- Rimayl... - I heard Eglaia whispering by my side, a bit afraid.

Why would she, a grown woman, be afraid of such a little girl I couldn't know. The one identified as Rimayl was skinny and short, barefoot and her pants were ripped. More-orange-than-red hair and tanned skin, like it seemed to be usual in this place, with the amber eyes and a bit long nose too. But I noticed right away the scars in her arms and legs, that looked like a net across her tender young flesh. They weren't accident scars, or fighting scars, not even training or hunting ones... believe me, I know pretty well about it. No, this absolutely looked like self-harm wounds.

- You finally came - she muttered, in a so low and ghostly voice that I almost missed it - We were waiting for you... even if they don't know yet.

And those piercing eyes of her, never leaving mines.

- How... how did you get these? - I asked her hesitantly, kneeling to her head-level and taking one of her small hands into mine.

- You need to make them understand - Rimayl continued, ignoring my question - Because if they don't, they will soon disappear.

- She does that to herself, Manaesi - Eglaia answered in her place, softening her voice - We tried many times to know why, to make her stop... but without result. She cuts herself with whatever she finds.

- I was calling for you - she talked again, and this time her spooky childish voice sent a shiver up my spine - I saw you up there, in the heavens. I know who you are. You were sent to us.

And the little girl fainted. Just like that, she fainted while I was still holding her small hand. Her lithe body fell to the sandy ground so softly, like it was a feather instead flesh and bones, making no sound at all.

- Just leave her here to rest, it happens often - Eglaia instructed me - She will wake up soon by herself.

I did it and got up, disturbed by the girl's words, but followed Eglaia back to her house.

- She said she knew who I am.

- Rimayl is always saying weird and scary things, don't pay her attention.

- What kind of weird things?

- Premonitions, dreams, visions, mystic revelations... she thinks she's a prophetess or something. Talks about serpents, gemstones, old women riding brooms, mirrors... etc.

- I see... - I said, a bit confused - Is that the kind of things human children imagine?

- Of course not - Eglaia replied, disgusted - I told you little Rim is weird.

- How is it that her mother lets her walk around showing such wounds? The blood was even forming scabs on her skin.

- Her mother died giving birth. Now everybody in the village takes care of Rim together - she paused, and then sighed - Or better said, nobody really cares.

All of this irritated me quite much, I must say. I was here no more than three hours, and all that I learned was quite different compared to what Hylia used to tell. She talked about the generosity, the strength and the caring of her people for each other... but here I saw nothing of it. These women looked coward, weak and selfish.

- What about the father?

- You are asking too many questions being just your first day, aren't you, Manaesi?

There was again, that tone of voice, the harshness indicating "Mind your own business", or something along the lines. Eglaia really was getting under my skin... but I guessed these humans were so annoying by nature, it wouldn't be fair if I punished them for acting like Farore created them. Instead I sighed, without even noticing...

I opened big my eyes, marveled by the fact. I... breathed, actually breathed worldly air. Sure, I was doing it since I awoke, but since it was an instinct of the humans, I hadn't realized until now. I put a hand over my moving chest and breathed in deeply again, just to feel my lungs filling up with air and slowly exhaling out. The air felt dry and hot in my throat. I wanted to ask Eglaia if she could feel it too, but then the air went through my nose instead, and I smelled it: the sun, the sand, the wind, the metal, the sweat... everything that exists seemed to have its own smell. Even the faint smell of Rimayl's blood remained on my hand.

It was too much to take it in a whole. My head was spinning a little, and a shiver ran up my spine. A sudden chill gave me goosebumps, and my heart seemed to beat faster. Oh, my heart... this was another incredible sensation! I had no words for it. The feeling of having something so _alive_ inside me almost made me faint... I think I even could hear my blood running through my embodim- no, through my human _body_.

- Are you alright? - Eglaia's voice sounded almost distant, like hearing it from kilometers away - Manaesi? You paled a bit...

- Yeah, I'm fine... at least I think I am - I said, blinking and trying to find my balance again - Only that I didn't expect... such thing. How can you humans live with these joyous sensations?

- Live with what?

- The breath! The heartbeat! The blood racing! Oh, Great Mother of Time!

- ... You seem to be experiencing some sort of catharsis right now, dear. Please, try to calm down. I guess you need to get acquainted to your current form.

For once, her words showed some amount of kindliness... so pity I couldn't follow the advice, since I fainted right there and then.


End file.
